Top three creepy knitting ideas – NSFW

I am an avid crafter and knitter.  Every so often, while perusing teh interwebz for patterns and inspiration i will stumble upon knitting ideas that make me shudder like waking up to find a clown in your bed.  Today’s top three will focus on these knitting ideas. Warning… the last photo is definitely not appropriate for the young – and NSFW.

Ugly knitting is not new.  Anyone who survived the 80’s can probably recall the mountains of hideous knitting out there.  If not, here’s an example:

While Bill would grace us weekly with ugly sweaters, these were not routinely terror-inducing.

1)  There are many styles of full-faced knitting, and to be completely truthful, it’s almost always kind of creepy.  These pictures however, purl the shudder level up a few stitches.

I particularly find the mask on the far left disturbing for it’s eerie resemblance to this.  Wrong… so very very wrong.

2)  We have all seen ugly sweaters, and there is even a rather fun trend of the ugly Christmas sweater party… but these sweaters move beyond fugly:

Now there are many reasons clowns are scary… here is just one.

This sweater while cozy, looks like a cross between a Teletubby and the pea shooters on Plants VS Zombies.  It leaves us wondering just what’s in there and that is rather worrisome.  It does however segue nicely into the third creepy knitting idea…

3)   The full body fetish knitting.  I know that there are plenty of x-rated knitting shenanigans going on out there craftdom.  You can find knitted shlongs or shlong cozies on Etsy in your choice of color.  For some reason, the full body fetish knitting disturbs me more.

Now the last picture i warn again is NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR FOR KIDS.  Frankly, i am not totally sure it’s safe for anyone’s eyes.  Someone get Chris Hansen on the phone.

Have fun looking for eye bleach.

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