Top three things to do when you’re dead

Nothing unites all creatures quite like the fact that one day, we will all die.  When i was 4, i was so fixated on what happened when we died that i cornered my Mother and insisted she tell me what was the outcome of death.  Many years later,  my Daughter asked me the same thing just as it was my turn at the bank teller.  Humans are unique in that we all know that some day we will shed this mortal coil.

Each year about 247,000 + people die in Canada.  In general, it works out to about .7 % of our population.  The majority of these people choose burial.  At a cost of $3000 to $15,000 +  for burial vs. $700 + for cremation, families strapped for cash and with no religious opposition may find cremation more appealing… at least until mummification or taxidermy is legal.  Another plus for cremation is that embalming is not always required prior to cremation.  The chemicals used in embalming are rather nasty.  Let’s face it, if you could be planted under a young apple tree without chemicals,  those apples would be effin delicious but the reality is your corpse is gonna be a chemical waste-land taking up space in a festering expensive box.

So anyway… today’s top three is dedicated to what to have done with your cremated remains:

1)   A standard urn,  a thing of horror for the great grand-kids may be fun for you to choose.  Then you run the risk of your remains being knocked off the mantle and inhaled by the family dog… or perhaps by these guys.

Some urns hold all the bodily cremains while others hold a small portion.  I rather dig these little ghosties below.

2)  Opt for something retro…  you may even trick someone into bringing you to school in their lunch by mistake.

3)  Go for the geekery or humor.

Cookie jars as a choice would definitely require a zip-lock bag inside to be sure people don’t put cigarettes out in you.

Each day, we are closer to death so we have no excuses not to be prepared.  You can have your cremains made into precious stones, bullets or simply dumped on your neighbor’s lawn.  If all else fails, donate your body to science… those doctors all have to practice on *something*.

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